Luvabeans: [Casual mention of something I may be planning, which, it so happens, doesn't sit well with the Luvafolks.]
Luvafolks: Oh ... really?
Luvabeans: Yep. So ...
LuvaMom: GRRRAAAWWWKK!!! I'M SO WORRIED! [Some remark exhibiting a lack of faith in my ability to make decisions for myself, and a wish to control what I do.] Graawwwk!
Luvabeans: [Deep breath, and rational explanation of why whatever I'm doing isn't a big deal, nor is it a hasty decision.]
LuvaPop: [Rational acceptance of my explanation, along with a rational explanation of why he and my mother might worry.]
LuvaMom: GRRRAAAAWWWKKK!!!
Luvabeans: [Maybe the beginning of a juvenile tirade about how LuvaMom thinks I'm an idiot and doesn't give me credit for my judgement.

However, I've learned that, especially if I start to cry, such a tirade doesn't do anyone any good and only makes me sound like a 17 year old who wants to stay out past curfew ...

So, skip that, and demonstrate a rational acceptance of my father's explanation of why he and my mother might worry. Follow that with a rational explanation that while I see their point, I do think my actions through and don't put myself in foolish or unreasonably precarious situations, and that I don't mean to hurt them, but I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do.]
LuvaPop: [Rational acceptance of my explanation, and rational but somewhat reluctant agreement to disagree, because he knows I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do, because, after all, I'm an adult.]
Luvabeans: Ok. Thanks, Dad.
LuvaMom: GRRAAAAWWWKKK!!!
Luvabeans: [Usually a tearful apology for worrying them, followed by a fruitless struggle to relieve their worry.]
Luvafolks: Whether you like it or not, you'll always be our little girl.
Luvamom: You can't understand how we feel until you have children of your own! GRRRAAAAWWWKKK!!!
Luvabeans: Of course I don't understand. But, similarly, you can only take my word for it that I'm taking care of myself. And you're going to worry no matter what I do, and I can't keep making myself crazy over that. I'm sorry.
LuvaDad:[Acceptance, agreement to disagree.]
Luvabeans: [Consent of agreement to disagree.]
LuvaMom: GRRRAAAWWWKKKK!!!

Sound of Luvabeans beating her head against the wall.

Then, my mom calls my older sister Kara and bitches to her about me. "Did you know about thus-and-such? Did you know Kelly's doing yaddahyaddah?"

Then, my sister calls me for the real story. I tell her, she almost always agrees with my or my dad's point of view. Then she teases me for giving Mom a reason to yell at her.

My parents rarely call me for second-hand follow-ups on my sister, by the way.

Gah. I know, things could be worse, and I understand why they act the way they do. But it's endlessly frusterating. I really don't see any need to further explain.

My uteris, Cyndi, has a new routine. Instead of the odd 4-5 day cycle of normal flow with some dull achiness and horrid bloating and breakouts, she has decided to hit me with a day of deathly painful cramps that make me wonder if I'd swallowed paint thinner, Pollock-splotch heavy flow, and such lovely side effects as light-headedness and vomiting.

She quickly tapers off after that mighty heave. She's gotten very efficient, in a cruel way. Like the fucking Gestapo.

When I have bad cramps, it feels like all of the tendons in my arms and groin have been attached to a spool, located behind my belly button, that is being steadily tightened. It's an anti-orgasm.

Today, I inserted The World's Most Complicated Tampon (TM). I'm never buying this brand again. Some kind of double-action applicator? With, like, a PROD? The fuck? Never again.

A quick way to clear a room:

Speak openly about your menses. Then start speaking in Tori Amos lyrics. Observe as testosterone parts like the Red Sea, and all present parties either flee or avoid eye contact.

I'M TIRED!

I realize I may share a little too much information about my menstrual cycle. I welcome any sharing of what might be considered the male equivalent.

Um ... Prostate issues? No, that's not funny.

How about nocturnal emissions?

OH, YES!

PLEASE, if this applies to you, send me your best accounts of wet dreams. That would earn you my undying love.

Bah. I'm sorry for this. It's been a long day of being doubled over in pain, but I'm feeling much better now.

Good night.

~ Last Five Entries ~

Moths, and Relative Nonsense - 08.18.05

I Finally Have Internet Access in my Bedroom. But, No Ashtray. - 08.09.05

Here I Am - 08.02.05

One-Armed Paper Hanger Earns her Wings - 07.29.05

Sugar & Lemon - 07.28.05

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BUY JEN'S BOOK! BUY IT! DO IT!

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BUY DEAN'S BOOK, TOO! YOU KNOW YOU WANNA! SERIOUSLY.

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