Hear the snap, crackle, and pop of suspense as you wonder … “WHAT will happen NEXT?”

Smell the rubber burning as she struggles to find meaningful patterns in the mundane!

Touch and be touched by the overlong anecdotes and horse-whipped metaphors!

Taste the … ew. Stop it.

I didn’t have online access at home until January 2004, and did all my updating at work. As such, I got into the habit of posting my weekend shenanigans on the following Mondays. I found it much easier to remember what I had done on Fridays if I started with descriptions of my Sundays and worked my way backward.

Thus was born the Reverse Weekend Recap, or RWR.

Since being hooked up with high-speed at home, I have more freedom to update.

However, this makes the necessity RWRs kind of moot.

And thus was killed the Reverse Weekend Recap, or RWR. RIP, RWR.

The RWRs are, in chronological order:

My kitty, Ziggy, came to live with me in the beginning of January, 2004. The following is the list of our incredibly gripping adventures, the likes of which haven’t been seen since the The A-Team was cancelled. I pity the foo’ that don’t like The Kitty Chronicles.

Fun tidbit: Fellow bloggers helped name Ziggy. (Thanks, Shelley!)

As I explained in Appendix A: FAQ, I dole out my nipple hairs to readers savvy enough to identify song lyrics that I sometimes site in my entries. This doesn’t really happen with any particular regularity. You just have to be really lucky, punks.

Past winners of the illustrious nipple hairs:

1. On 10/28/03, the winners were Craig and Autumn, who identified “Art my imitate life, but life imitates TV” from Ani Difranco’s “Superhero.”

2. On 11/05/03 the winner was Craig, again, because (a) he rules, and (b) he correctly identified “Skip a life completely, stuff it in a cup. She said ‘Money is like us and time. It lies but can’t stand up. Down for you is up’” from The Velvet Underground’s “Pale Blue Eyes.”

3. On 2/11/04, the winner was the wonderful Janet, who recognized “You’ve been chosen as an extra in the movie adaptation of the sequel to your life” from Pavement’s “Shady Lane.” Poor Craig, the still-reigning champion, was disqualified for that round. His fellow Canadian, Palinode was given an honorary nip-whisker for shrewdly mentioning another lyric, quite relevant to that post, which hadn’t occurred to me. (Can you imagine it? It hadn’t occurred to me ?!?!?!?!?! )

4. On 2/14/04, the hair was bestowed upon the supercool Goodsandwich, for identifying “Send another cliché howling from the vaults” from the Magnetic Fields’ “How Fucking Romantic.”

If you haven’t yet earned your LuvaNipple-lock, don’t fret. Have faith and diligence, share my impeccable taste in music, and Luva will provide.

Those are the only series that have thus far been imposed upon readers. I’ll update as deemed necessary, don’t you worry.

~ Last Five Entries ~

Moths, and Relative Nonsense - 08.18.05

I Finally Have Internet Access in my Bedroom. But, No Ashtray. - 08.09.05

Here I Am - 08.02.05

One-Armed Paper Hanger Earns her Wings - 07.29.05

Sugar & Lemon - 07.28.05

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BUY JEN'S BOOK! BUY IT! DO IT!

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BUY DEAN'S BOOK, TOO! YOU KNOW YOU WANNA! SERIOUSLY.

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