It's all about the poontang.

Now, depending on your species, "poontang" might not be defined so much by libido as by procreation, but whether for the purposes of recreation or survival, it's still poontang. (I'm talkin' "poontang" beyond just the vaginal sense; I mean it to encompass all things sexual. Whee!) And it could be argued that when you get down to brass tacks, poontang is all about survival. We're all animals. But survival isn't as fun to talk about, and it's not nearly as fun to say, as poontang. Poooooontaaaaang. Hee.

Does altruism exist? I've tortured myself with that question a lot. I think it was in "The Metaphysics of Morals" or something that Emmanuel Kant deconstructs the Good Deed. In his treatise (which I read years ago, so bear with me), Kant says that good deeds are never really performed for the sake of "good." They are performed to make a person look good in comparison to others or according to an accepted values-system, or they are performed to make a person feel good, either by avoiding guilt or by satisfying oneself with the knowlege that he/she has "done good," again according to an accepted values-system. Ultimately, though, Kant says it doesn't matter why the deed is done, as long as someone does it. Good is good. Of course, "good" is subjective in and of itself, but for the sake of this entry, let's think of it in the Western, Judeo-Christian, Golden Rule sense.

But, regardless of that, it means that there is no such thing as altruism, that "good for the sake of good" is not possible. If you "do good," i.e. if you do something to benefit another, but you feel bad about it, it's not pure altruism. If you "do good" to avoid angering or hurting another, thereby avoiding your own personal discomfort, it's not pure altruism. If you "do good" and feel good about it, regardless of whether anyone recognizes it or not, the feeling of self-satisfaction detracts from the selflessness of the act, again tainting the altruism. Sometimes empathy and self-sacrifice can be a means of defense.

Pff. Boring. Back to the poontang. (Isn't that the motto of Fox Television?)

It's been observed that squirrels, and other animals, will readily sacrifice themselves for their young, by drawing attention to themselves to distract predators away from the offspring. Is it worry that inspires this? No. Courage? Wrong again. Anger? Nope. Hope for the future? Well, not as such. It's poontang.

OK, so you're a squirrel, and your most pressing worries are procuring acorns and gaining enough weight to sleep through the winter. Then, you become a momma squirrel, and you have to get acorns enough to blubber up both you AND Junior. That's your modus operandus, or whatever. Right? Not so much.

So, you jump from the treetops to the ground, grab a couple of rocks, and start banging them together, yelling "Hey! Hawk! Yer momma was a pidgeon who lived under the Jersey Expressway!" Hawk sees you, fat Mama, and dives for you instead of little Junior. You're eaten, but Junior lives through the winter and has fine little squirrel kittens of his own, and the cycle continues. Altruism? Nuh-uh. Poontang. (Or evolution. Whatever. Again, poontang is funner to say.)

For humans, love and sexual attraction can also, obviously, be connected to the never-ending quest for poontang. But, interestingly enough, this can also be connected to animal evolution and survival of the species. I'm sure most people have heard about this already, and it is all conjecture. But ...

So, men like boobs and curves, which can be connected with fertility. Women like muscles and ... um ... longevity, which can be connected to strength and verility. We like smooth skin, healthy glows, white teeth. These things are "attractive." They're "sexy." Oh yeah? Bottom line, it's all about baby-making. On some instinctive level that we don't acknowlege (but hey, if we acknowleged it, it wouldn't be instinct), we wanna fuck the hotties so that we, as a species, will continue to evolve. That's a big reason, I think, why "hot" is hot.

Same shit happens with animals. Lady birds are more "attracted" (i.e. responsive during mating rituals) to male birds with bright plumage. This plumage may indicate (a) better health, which in turn indicates ability to procure food which ensures nutrition, which in turn in turn indicates ability to provide for mate and offspring, (b) ability to escape predators ... I mean, a parrot with a big fucking red head is obviously more visible to predators, and if he's lived long enough to mate despite his glaring vibrance, he must be perdy wiley. These are good traits to have in a mate, as they may be passed to offspring. Same with humans.

Why, then, even when we land ourselves an evolutionally sexy partner for possible procreation, do we, as young, single adults, take all possible measures to arm ourselves AGAINST reproduction? That's just society. We humans don't think we're animals. Things are just different now. In some ways, that's great and fun and glorious. In other ways, it's fucking everything up. Read "Ishmael." I don't feel like getting into it.

Back to the poontang.

Here's something I like to think about: If sex and love and attraction is so much about the baby-makin', then homosexuality proves that true love can exist. Right? Because, on the basic level, homosexual poontang ain't about the baby-makin'. I'm not saying that homosexuality is unnatural, or against one's own instinct, or that it goes against evolution; nor am I making any argument against families with two mommies or two daddies. No, no, no. I'm arguing the possibility that homosexuality is PROOF that sex and attraction can be about MORE than procreation. If a man falls in love with or has sex with a man, or woman blablabla-same-deal with another woman, it's not about making a baby. It's about more. It's deeper than instinct.

Or, it's about less. There's something comforting both in the existence of sex as a manifestation of lovey, romantic feelings, and as something "base" and bambam and recreational. It's kinda heavy (and not in a good way) to think of sex as a means of furthering the progress of the species. Yeesh. Talk about buzz-kill. "Oh, baby, I want you so bad, you're so hot and fertile-looking. Just think of the master species that'll eventually develop thousands of years down the road, if our offspring survive global warming and nuclear war. Oh, baby." No, thanks. Whatever happened to candlelight and soft music?

(It could also be argued that the existence of happy, childless, heterosexual couples also strengthens the case for true love. Again, those are situations in which two people choose to be together in a mate-like situation, but not for mating purposes. Good point, I say; I also say that our society has taken us too far away from our instincts to make the point completely valid. We fuck for the sake of fucking, all over the place. Responsibilities are different. Choosing not to have children, while often a good decision, has little to do with animal instincts or evolution, unless both people are very ill ... or maybe if they're really stupid, awful people who should NEVER reproduce. In those cases, yeah, abstaining from procreation could help human evolution.)

Another thing: homosexuality has been documented in almost every animal species. How cool is that? That could indicate that humans aren't the only frivolous beasts that have sex for pleasure. Also, it could mean that coupling in other species could be indicative of something more than just procreation. Deeper feelings. (Personally, I think that's sort of a silly thought, but it's fun to throw out there.)

Love abounds! Yay, poontang!

Ooh, look! It's come full circle! I'm so happy right now... Stream-of-conciousness mental diarrhea strikes again! If love and sex exists beyond instinct and reproduction, then maybe altruism exists, too! So does joy, and fun! So, there you go. Homosexuality is proof that love exists, that goodness exists, and that no species is immune to emotions. Hoorah! Thank you, homosexuality.

Shove it up your hiney-hole, Rush Limbaugh.

~ Last Five Entries ~

Moths, and Relative Nonsense - 08.18.05

I Finally Have Internet Access in my Bedroom. But, No Ashtray. - 08.09.05

Here I Am - 08.02.05

One-Armed Paper Hanger Earns her Wings - 07.29.05

Sugar & Lemon - 07.28.05

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