Oh, sorry, optic nerves. I mean BIG boners, BIG nudges. So huge and girthy. Unh, unh.

I have not the mind for “facts:” names, dates, times, things compiled into lists that are supposed to teach you something. I'm a big picture momma, and I like stories, pictures, and songs. For me to actually remember something, I have to feel it in my whole body. The list thing, I have to work my ass off to memorize until I can take the test or fill the form or conduct the interview, and then I promptly forget it, buh-bye. Really, I rarely even remember the chronological outlines of books and movies that I love. Once I've finished it, the ending is forgotten and I've just kind of absorbed the whole thing in one big chomp.

I have felt these eye-boners, while not terming them as such, since I was really little. Like in Social Studies when reading about ancient Egyptian gods with snakes on their heads, or mummification (which I simulated in a fourth-grade project presentation using a toilet-paper wrapped Cabbage Patch Kid and a coat hanger), or ancient Greek women who weren't allowed to hang out with men at all.

Later, my brain was aroused by the sudden *click* that happened through spatial-meets-practical successes, like when I diagrammed a meaty, multi-claused sentence, or read and understood Borges story in Spanish, or drew out strings of Chemistry proofs that didn't actually work, but fucking should have (as my Chemistry teacher attested).

And even after that, it came through meeting artistic-meets-mechanical milestones, like nailing a difficult scene or figuring out how to sing.

I think it has to do with the marriage of the left and right hemispheres of the brain. The biological connection to these full body/mind *clicks* robs some people of the romance of inspiration, but I think it's magical, like it's just supposed to happen.

Yo, the term "eye-boner" makes it sound like something that can be totally simulated through some kind of nerd porn, but I really have to stumble upon it and embrace it when it comes. Luckily, lately, they've been induced by pop culture items that can be easily recalled through the glory of the internet and technology, and what follows is an abridged list of ...

RELATIVELY RECENT EYE-BONER STIMULI!

Nico

Now, I've loved Nico long time, but not because she's a brilliant representation of dark modern/pomo art, but because I think she was unintentionally hilarious. She's got this spooky voice that matches well with the pretentious rockin' of the Velvet Underground, but in her solo stuff it's sort of like she's a worldly slut with black eyeliner trying to play an ingenue. And it's AWESOME.

Now, I admit, I can be a bit folky when it comes to music, in that a pretty melody with simple lyrics and an obvious theme makes a song that grabs me, and the Nico songs that fit in that category, I will play over and over and over. But then there are the story songs that are trying to be arty but just come out either overly literal or just SO unreachable that they verge on performance art, where Nico is hooting hauntingly over violins and dissonance, and it cracks me up.

I LOVE IT ALL. I'm a slut for analyzing the shit out of something that is probably just the result of an orgy and an acid trip among people who take themselves way too seriously. In fact, I think that latter sentence would be my name if I was Native American.

Nico, why you gotta fall off a bike and die of a brain hemorrhage before you write your autobiography? OH, THE ENIGMA OF NICO!

Online NPR Archives

Since working a string of part-time, bullshit office work while pursuing my graduate degree, my paying jobs have involved a shitload of busy work, with few hours so I don't have a lot of time to waste surfing online, as I'd done in my previous full-time gig. To entertain me while updating databases and etcetera, I've discovered the glory that are NPR online archives. After a day at the office, the things I've listened to while fulfilling job obligations are at the forefront of my mind, and I make a point to force them into conversation.

Hey, all you out there at busywork office jobs, I recommend the links that follow.

Fresh Air? Terry Gross, I wish I was you. You get to talk to so many kick-ass people, and how the hell do you find time, whilst preparing for your daily in-depth interviews, to research each of your interviewees and give your listeners the impression that you know everything about them? Terry Gross, you're sort of my hero.

She flirts with Leonard Cohen, is befuddled by Tom Waits, doesn't back down from the haughty pretentiousness that was Uta Hagen, and brings depth to the dude best known as the doo-wop singer and writer of "Runaway." ("Run-run-run-run, a-runaway...")

Never boring. Trust me.

Oh, and the back-issues of This American Life have improved my existence by leaps and bounds. I forget I'm doing hours of busywork while listening to episode after episode of short stories, audio documentaries, and interviews of people I never thought I would have been interesting if it weren't for Ira Glass and his equally awesome, though often not nearly as nasal, cohorts.

I know this reveals me as the whiteywhitewhite liberal princess that I am, but I have a crush on every single regular contributor to that show. "This American Life" makes the world a better place. I think at this point I have heard every single episode recorded since their debut in 1995.

And I've recently discovered Radiolab, which is the audio version of a nerdy, mental circle jerk. Really, if you were to ask me to produce recorded examples of academic-meets-anecdotal subjects that give me eye-boners, this show would be it. It seems like every episode feeds into the one that follows, and most of them have something to do with the workings of the brain and how they contribute to emotional and physical experiences, and it makes my own brain horny.

I could write a dissertation on NPR shows, because I am a sheltered nerd.

Go, now. Go.

Ooh! The phrase opening the credits to "My So-Called Life." Segue into next eye-boner stimulus!

Serials Focusing on Adolescence

Prime examples: Parts of “Gilmore Girls” (which I've already confessed as a guilty pleasure), most of "My So-Called Life" (the box set of which I recently ordered and watched, though I didn't see much of it in 1994 when it was actually on the air and I was its target audience, because [a] I was probably always rehearsing for something when it was on, and [b] it annoyed me that, while their angst and issues were accurately portrayed, their verbal language made them sound afraid of expressing their smarts, which was a stereotype of adolescents that I hated at the time), all of "Freaks and Geeks."

Between you and me, I've housed some regret for being as reserved as I was in adolescence. I very rarely drank, I never tried drugs, I basically hated being touched in any way that reminded me that I had a body, and the only time I skipped school was in the last month of my senior year, after I had already been accepted at university and solidified my place in the top 10 of my class.

I wasn't a goody-goody, because I really didn't care what anyone else did with his/her time, but if I could go back, I'd probably play around a lot more knowing that I could get away with a lot but still get the same stuff accomplished. But hey, that wasn't my life, and my life was still pretty good, and not So-Called.

Shopping

Yeah, I know. I've always hated shopping, but it doesn't scare me anymore. I know my body well enough to anticipate what might look good on my, and I've been able to cultivate some kind of fashion sense. The end. Really not interesting.

Operation: Better/Faster/Stronger

The above subtitle is what I use to refer to my exercise regimen. There is a well-endowed YMCA around the corner from my house, which I've been haunting several times a week for the past few months, and my body has been subtly changing to become increasingly streamlined, so that my mass makes more sense as the collection of muscle, flesh, and bone that it is.

See, when I saw "Spiderman III," I noticed ONCE AGAIN that, as in so many action flicks, several scenes involved damsels in distress dangling dangerously from the ledges of buildings from their spindly arms. And I decided I needed to build my own upper-body strength to pull myself up from such ledges, because I can't bank on a superhero swooping around the corner to scoop me up. Fuck that.

It's a cool thing to be exercising with strength-building in mind, and while a bit of weight loss and increased societal hotness have come along as a result, they were not motivating factors. Exercise has a hand in what has made shopping more fun, because I no longer dread clothing and dressing rooms, but what's more rewarding is sweating my ass off and fucking smiling about it, goddamnit, because it was weirdly fun, and I'm ever-closer to accomplishing my very own chin-up.

Yo, it's late. Good night.

~ Last Five Entries ~

Days and Nights - 10.01.07

Eye-Boners - 07.20.07

Something About My Big Frickin' Bed - 07.11.07

Summertime Fix in Hawaii - 06.12.07

About Zigs - 04.26.07

---

BUY JEN'S BOOK! BUY IT! DO IT!

---

BUY DEAN'S BOOK, TOO! YOU KNOW YOU WANNA! SERIOUSLY.

---

««« Chicago Blogs Webring »»»

---

email:

---

words © luvabeans, 2003 - 2004