Rest assured, once I get DSL hooked up at home on December 30th*, there will be many a drunk entry to come. For now, this is all ya got.

RECIPE FOR THE FIRST DRUNK ENTRY:

1 Luvabeans

1 week at home with her parents

1 Tbsp. orange-flavored seltzer drink

3 cups (approx) vodka

Add all ingredients, shake OR stir OR don't, because you really don't give a fuck at this point. Pour, and serve. And of course, by "serve," I mean "guzzle."

right. i've had enough with this capitalizaation crapl, and fuck the gtypos. do you konw how many times i've pressed the backspace key during the course of this currently-brief entry? yeah? well, neither tdo i.

no, but it's a nice visit, really, i'm just totally buttfuck bored, people. there are only so many trips one can make to the local bookstore (without cigarettes, mind you,) before one discovers an urgent need for a vodka vodka vodka vodka vodka and "tonic."

some nice things i've discovered during my visit with my parents:

1. it ok if i don't always have something to say to my dad. we're both just plum thrilled to see each other.

2. my mom ALWAYS has something to say, but it'k (that's "it's"__)(aw, fuck) ok if i just listen. i think that's part of my role for her in the family. oh, that, and i'll go to chick flicks with her, while my dad would sooner give up his eyes than see a girly movie. oh, but he WAS a fan of GLOW (Gorgeous Ladies Of Wrestling) when i was little, which is a "girly movie" in a different way ... i'm not so sure i'm supposed to know that, however. more vodka, anyone?

3. i'm very good at not acting drunk when i'm drunk. this is a huge gift when one is in one's parent's house.

4. new england is still damned pretty. even the fucking HIGHWAY is pretty, fer chrissake.

5. i have, apparently, always been the freaky cheeseball that i am today. this afternoon, after i made some truly sappy comment to my mom about the sunset, she told me that i used to say shit like that all the time, even when i was tiny. crap about the color of the sky and the rain and shit like that. this is rather relieving, as i rather feared taht i had been trying to construct some persona of myself as some sappho or something. good to know that that is not the case, and that i am genuinely this annoying.

6. my sister has missed me as much as i've missed her. we always seem to forget how special we are to each other.

7. ooh- my fingers are tingling!

8. hee hee, my face is all warm.

9. what's with this list? where am i?

10. I FUCKEN LOVE YOU GUYS!

holy god, is the horizontal rule my savior, or WHAT? for the queen of the non-swequiters, there is no subject as loyal as the horizontal rule. the horizontal rule helps me maintain the illusion that i know what i'm doing at all times.

i have now concluded with this thought.

thank you.

STUFF I'VE NOTICED LATELY:

1. there's some benefit coming up, a really long walk or something, all of the proceeds for which go towards breast cancer. bully, i say. down with breast cancer! up with proceeds going towards breast cancer!

no, but anyway, there are ads all over the subway and all over the city (both boston and chicago, by the way ... oooh, look, i'm urban in 2 time zones!) for this walk.

they are ingenius ads, for the following reason:

all of the women have beautiful jugs.

i mean, gorgeous jugs. it's like, "walk with us, and not only will YOU have beautiful tits, but you'll help ensure that other women are able to keep THEIR beautiful tits."

they got me. i just might walk.

2. oh, god. i had more, but my mommy just called me for dinner.

3. save me. really, guys. entertain me.

seriously, though. i fucken luv you guys. 4-eva, even. (i love vodka, too.)

~ Last Five Entries ~

Moths, and Relative Nonsense - 08.18.05

I Finally Have Internet Access in my Bedroom. But, No Ashtray. - 08.09.05

Here I Am - 08.02.05

One-Armed Paper Hanger Earns her Wings - 07.29.05

Sugar & Lemon - 07.28.05

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BUY JEN'S BOOK! BUY IT! DO IT!

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BUY DEAN'S BOOK, TOO! YOU KNOW YOU WANNA! SERIOUSLY.

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