I'm so excited to be alive, I could cry. No reason. Just woke up, and WAH! What a fantastic bleep my alarm clock has, and oh, how lovely the mess in my apartment. And hey, what's that funky smell? Smell, I love you! I am honored by your funkiness.

Whee, my limbs are all a-tingle, and I'm not even horny or over-caffeinated. Woop ... no, wait ... I am horny.

Shabbadooooooo!

I'm listening to a live Sarah Vaughn album ... she sings this version of "How High The Moon" in which she totally forgets the words and just makes shit up, sings about Ella Fitzgerald, skats to the tune. It's so cute. One of those days ... it's delightfully overcast, threatening to shower down ... my boss gave me two tickets to tomorrow's Cubs game ... I'm meeting Lynne for dinner tonight ... pending fun pending fun pending fun ...

Can I say something?

I'M SO POOR!!!

I don't know why this excites me so. I think I like to imagine I'm the lost Crachit. Hey, when I was in London, I lived down the street from where the Crachit's lived in "A Christmas Carol." The neighborhood is now inhabited by students, punks, and this one homeless guy who stands by the tube station and yells at God all day. OK, there are more homeless people than just the heavenly heckler, but he was my favorite.

Ahhh .... so happy today, for no apparent reason. I love when this happens. Hormones can work in your favor, and not just if you're a body-builder on steroids.

I can almost guarantee I'll be on the rag by the end of tomorrow, and everything will come crashing down. My Uteris at the helm of a rocket ship, hearing my Brain try to reason with it from Ground Control, and fucking laughing her fool fallopian tubes off.

Again with the personification of my Uteris. Notice I'm capitalizing her now? She plays a key role in the movie of my life.

OK, not to get all meta-journal on you, but here's something incredibly disturbing:

I checked my stats today, and discovered that someone found my sight by googling ... oh, God ...

"babysitting sister oral sex -picture -pics -pictures -movies -photos -pics -videos"

I swear to God. This disturbs and disgusts me, obviously. I write of nothing of the sort, and it's really sada and appalling that such a monstrous notion would even cross someone's mind ... then that they would use the notion to form a sentence-fragment and type it into a search engine.

I feel a mite lost now.

So, for future fucked-up googlers, just so you don't get the wrong idea

THIS IS NOT A KIDDIE PORN SITE! SHAME ON YOU! SHAME ON YOU!

Now if such a search still bring up my site, which now it no doubt will, they will be chastised properly. I mean ... it's, like, bright fucking yellow with goddamned jelly beans. What are they expecting? Twisted fucks.

THAT being said, here are some funnier googlings that brought me up (please note, I have never written on either of the following subjects):

"my big fat bloated belly"

... why would someone search for that? Drunk.

And, my favorite,

"strange dream performing oral sex on myself"

OK, even I haven't dreamt that. Hee. I love it.

Have good days.

Strangedreamperformingoralsexonmyself,

Luvabeans

~ Last Five Entries ~

Moths, and Relative Nonsense - 08.18.05

I Finally Have Internet Access in my Bedroom. But, No Ashtray. - 08.09.05

Here I Am - 08.02.05

One-Armed Paper Hanger Earns her Wings - 07.29.05

Sugar & Lemon - 07.28.05

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BUY DEAN'S BOOK, TOO! YOU KNOW YOU WANNA! SERIOUSLY.

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